Category: Goofing Tweets (Page 11 of 17)

• RT @capricecrane: I was just informed "The Junos" are the Canadian Grammys, and not Teen Promiscuity Awards. Well, I'm not watching now. #
• @JasonInMilton best reply of the day! Made my wife and I chuckle. in reply to JasonInMilton #
• Sitting overlooking the water eating ice cream. Life is good (@ Queen's Quay Terminal) http://4sq.com/5irTjr #
• Just heard from a friend at another company that their EDW project is going so poorly the acronym is really: Everything Doesn't Work. #oops #
• RT @badbanana: Efficient Staff Meetings. Choose two. #
• On his deathbed Earl Woods gave his son Tiger this advice: "Focus on golf: fuck everything else."#tiger #joke #
• Using the new #twitter client for the #bb Nice, clean & functional. However, not as good as #ubertwitter Seems slower #
• Wow. awesome: http://digg.com/d31OxnX Cynicism never had a chance. I love people with a positive attitude & this kid definitely has one. #
• @karinaling did you ask what his fav twitter client is? in reply to karinaling #
• Great. #HST protest blocking all of Yonge and Carlton. Natives protesting with drums. #
• They are not moving. Right at rush hour. #HSTprotest #toronto #
• I just became the mayor of Spadina wave deck on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/c5CPXN #
• @karinaling where did you go and how was it? in reply to karinaling #
• Trying some hot yoga. Keeping a shirt on (nobody wants to see hot/sweaty/fat!) (@ Moksha Yoga Downtown) http://4sq.com/7fSxFY #
• Hot yoga was good. Only issue was that the only other man at the place was built like a Greek god! 6 packabs #ihatehimbecauseiamamoundofflab #

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• RT @donttrythis: @CraigyFerg Its also nice to know that thanks to your tweet, a search for Brazilian and Betty White will now yield results. #
• I just ousted Lucio T. as the mayor of Rogers OMP on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/bnGANU #
• RT @badbanana: You could string random YouTube comments together to make the next Mission Impossible script. That's how stupid they are. #
• 6 frakking streetcars going the opposite way. 1 going towards Union and it is too full to let 3 people on. Its called RUSH HOUR! #ttc #fail #
• Just passed Adam Giambrone walkimg on the street. At least he wasn't in a cab! #ttc #moretocome #
• Just passed Adam Giambrone walkimg on the street. Even HE thinks #ttc service sux! #moretocome #
• Just passed Adam Giambrone walking on the street. He had a small harem following him. #ttc #okayimdonenow #
• RT @badbanana: Business Casual means your numbers don't have to add up, right? #
• Last chance Raptors! @ game with my brother and son. (@ Air Canada Centre w/ 9 others) http://4sq.com/5ATERT #
• At the #raptor game and they just had the raptor Dad pack dance. Very funny. And the @raptors are winning, makes it even better #
• Seriously? #ttc driver of 4186 pulled away from 3 people running to catch the streetcar. Shut the door in their face. #customersevice #fail #
• Time to sit for 3 hours and be infused with a drug that while harsh, enables me to walk. (@ Mount Sinai Hospital) http://4sq.com/6FvZJJ #
• @karinaling if your SB is already worn off & you can bring in a travel mug to get free coffee, I know what you need to do: calisthenics! ;o) in reply to karinaling #
• V.funny. I'm watching a BBC special on how Homeopathy is BS whilst getting my infusion & woman next to me is reading a book on Homeopathy! #
• Chino Loco burrito for lunch equals good. Being around me this evening equals stinky. But try Chino Loco at Charles south of Wellsley. Yumm #
• Word to the wise….don't fry bacon in the nude. 'Nuff said. #

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• RT @capricecrane: The one day of the year accepting candy from a huge rabbit is okay and not a sign you should quit drugs. Happy Easter! #
• RT @davewiner: The fanboys are all hailing a naked emperor. This thing is about as useful as the PC jr. –I <3 PC Jr ref!! I'm an old geek #
• Hmm @RichardWiseman is thinking 'I don't believe her breasts come out to there as per her gesture. Now how do I prove that theory?' in reply to RichardWiseman #
• . @RichardWiseman 'if only I had an iPad I could be tweeting about this meeting!' #caption in reply to RichardWiseman #
• I'm at the #Masters !! #
• What #Tiger really wanted to say at his press conference: http://www.goofingaround.ca/tiger2 #joke #
• If the people who followed Arnold Palmer around were called "Arnie's Army" can we call the people following #Tiger "Tiger's Harem"? #
• A redhead tells her blond sister, "I slept with a Brazilian."
  The sister says, " O M G, you slut! How many is Brazilian?" #joke #
• I just became the mayor of 500 QQ on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/9rbsD6 #
• I <3 standing in the rain at rush hour waiting on the #ttc Don't they know to run MORE trains at the rush times? #fail #shittyservice #
• Hope my friend @johntobin doesn't come back from the UK with one of those fake British accents. #
• Told my wife to scrap the carpet and put in hard wood so she slapped me for talking dirty #
• Let's go Raptors! At the pivotal game with Cooper and Angie. (@ Air Canada Centre w/ 22 others) http://4sq.com/5ATERT #
• The #raptors are getting spanked by da bulls. My wife wishes SHE was a raptor! #

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• Saw Adam G. At Bloor subway. Wanted warn the female passengers that he may try to have sex with them but it won't improve the #ttc service #
• I swear if the names weren't different that this could have been written by my friend @johntobin: http://digg.com/d31MjOm #
• Having problems keeping your earbuds in? Do what I do: use binder clips on yoir ears. Or staples. #
• I just became the mayor of Elliott Sawyer mansion on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/dqQH8w #
• In Augusta the weekend before #Masters is very cool. All locals are bugging out like a hurricane is coming. I guess it is: Media & #Tiger #
• RT @capricecrane: Anna Paquin: "I'm bisexual." Husband Stephen Moyer: "I support my wife's decision to see women. In our bed. With me." #
• RT @badbanana: They should make an iPad with a fold-open keyboard that can sit on your lap. #
• I'm going to the #Masters A friend of my sister gave us a pair of passes to Monday's practice. Very excited, but miss my wife & son at home #

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• At #raptors with my son. Too bad he plays better than them tonight and he's 2! (@ Air Canada Centre w/ 19 others) http://4sq.com/5ATERT #
• Interesting; its Turkey night @raptors and they are truly playing like turkeys. Maybe its because they are stuffed. #raptors #
• Wow. From @adobe: Content Aware Fill: http://bit.ly/90msyG This is amazing stuff & has some great(&scary) applications #
• I just unlocked the "Local" badge on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/d065ep #
• Friday night & in bed at 8 with a touch of the stomach flu. At least I'm not tweeting from the bathroom (or am I?) #ineeditalicsorevilvoice #
• Just had an Involtini – pulled pork wrapped in ribeye w/goat cheese at Gio Rana's Really Really Nice Restaurant. Oh My was it good! #
• I just unlocked the "Super User" badge on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/chfEdf #
• I just unlocked the "Crunked" badge on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/ckWErE #

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• Just saw 'Couple's Retreat'. Best line:" I'm not saying to have him tickle yout balls" #guessyouhavetoseeittothinkitsfunny #
• Fetching sushi for Salima and Manisha. Go slave boy go! (@ Nijo Japanese Restaurant) http://4sq.com/cCOAKc #
• Had no idea what 'chatroulette' was but this is a funny video and now I know. http://www.youtube.com/PianoChatImprov #
• I love it: 2 twentysomethings just teased me because I was riding a scooter. I did the mature thing and teased them back. #notdeadyet #
• I just unlocked the "Adventurer" badge on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/d0ocKe #

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• File under:Ok, really? Geoffrey Fletcher wins the #Oscar for best adapted screenplay and he didn't write a speech? #
• I just unlocked the "Newbie" badge on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/ckEl1x #
• Followed @Richardsonian 's advice and went to a cool indoor playground for kids. My son LOVED it. Might have to listen to him more often #
• @Richardsonian Already did. Problem I'm having is making a magic quadrant of your ideas & overlapping their effectiveness. Give me a 1/2 day in reply to Richardsonian #
• @Richardsonian kill bill also a good option. Or the hangover. Not really kid friendly those movies in reply to Richardsonian #
• Rainy and windy but it could be much worse; it could be snow! #couldbeworse #

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• Awesome beginning of the closing ceremonies with the re-lighting. Booooring rest of it so far. At least it is helping me fall asleep. #
• Can't someone buy Dora the Explorer a shirt that fits? I'd pitch in some $ if they are 'short' funds. #
• The @raptors are stinking the place up after 3 qtrs. Bosh still looks ill. 14 points to catch up and 12 minutes. Looks bad but not hopeless #

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• My wife is awesome: Saw a sign for Re/Max for Richard Pantalone. The rest of the night was talk of his "English name" –Dick Pants. #
• @karinaling unfortunately those weren't said by me though. I think I said "Am I being fired?" in reply to karinaling #
• @karinaling Believe me, I love the credit. Makes me seem smarter than I am. ;o) in reply to karinaling #
• "A consultant is a man who knows 49 ways to make love to a woman but does not know any women". – James Dent #quote #consultant #
• Tried to bring my 2 yo son to the #raptor game at 1/2 time & the box office only would sell $205 tix. Seriously? Couldn't drop price a bit? #
• Proud and sad: Canadian women curlers had two chances to win gold but missed. Still proud they got Silver. #
• Canada hockey: looking shaky with less than 3 minutes to go. Hold on boys! #
• One of the best twitter bio lines ever belongs to @darthvader: Evil orphan Annie. #
• Feel like I should be somewhere or be watching something this afternoon…..I keep seeing people wearing red. #
• Goooooooooooooooaaaaaaallllll! #
• Crosby! For the WIN! #

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• RT @badbanana: RT @Justin_Stangel: Tiger Woods press conference today- Rules are no multiple cameras, no questions and no fat chicks #

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