Goofingaround

*Marvin*

CREATIVE PUNS FOR “EDUCATED MINDS” 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian . 3. She was only a whiskey maker, but [...]

You think you have lived to be 60 and know who you are, then along comes someone and blows it all to pieces. An old cowboy sat down at a Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the [...]

Keep this philosophy in mind the next time you hear, or are about to repeat a rumour. In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance, who ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just [...]

Another good one from Dan. Ed and Dorothy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart, Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got back home. Within a couple of weeks, [...]

Some years ago, Stan married an attractive woman, Aggie, half his age, in a small coastal Newfoundland community. After several months, Aggie complained that she had never climaxed during sex and, according to her grandmother, all Newfoundland women are entitled to a climax once in a while. To resolve the problem, they went to see the local veterinarian [...]

A Newfie stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, ‘How long before I can get a haircut?’ The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, ‘About 2 hours.’ The Newfie left. A few days later, the same Newfie stuck his head in the door and asked, ‘How long before I can [...]

You Stupid Bastard! You cheated on Sandra Bullock? How in the world can you be so stupid? You are married to one of the most beautiful women in the world. She has a body to die for and her current wealth shadowed only by Oprah. Your wife, recently beat out Julia Roberts in the polls [...]

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking a mid-term exam. The last question was, ‘Name seven advantages of Mother’s Milk,’ worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote: 1. It is perfect formula for the child. 2. It provides immunity against [...]

A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them. She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that [...]