A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Ashley said, ‘My father’s a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs got broken.’

‘And what is the moral of that story?’ asked the teacher.

‘Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!’

‘Very good,’ said the teacher.

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, ‘Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. The moral to this story is, ‘Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched’.’

‘That was a fine story Sarah.’

Michael, do you have a story to share?’

‘Yes teacher. My daddy told me a story about my Aunty Sharon. Aunty Sharon was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whisky on the way
Down so it wouldn’t break. Then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.’

‘Good heavens,’ said the horrified teacher, ‘what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?’

‘Don’t fuck with Aunty Sharon when she’s been drinking.’