Having Fun
For those of you with an internet memory span, planking was this dumb craze where people would lay down on top of things and be very stiff. Like a board. Or a plank. Thus “Planking”.
Other than it being dumb, this is one reason why you shouldn’t do it.
Say what you will about paedophiles, but they do drive slowly past parks and playgrounds.
Poor guys, they’re always coming in a little behind.
They find it hard to fit in
My girlfriend’s dad accused me of being a pedophile just because she’s 18 and I’m 32. Really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Paedophiles are fucking immature assholes
If you have a problem with paedophiles, grow up
Man goes to the doctor for a physical.
Doctor says: “I’m afraid you’re going to have to stop masturbating.”
Man asks: “But doctor, why?!”
Doctor Says: “Because I’m trying to give you a physical.”
So a masochist, a pyromaniac, a necrophile, a sadist, a pedophile, and a zoophile are all standing in a jail cell. The zoophile says, “You know what I could really go for right now? Sex with a cat.” The pedophile says, “Even better: Sex with a kitten.” The sadist asks, “How about we beat the kitten up, and THEN have sex with it?” The necrophile adds, “Alright let’s beat a kitten to death, and then have sex with it.” Then the pyromaniac says, “Okay, how about we beat a kitten to death, light it on fire, and then have sex with it?” After all of this the masochist finally speaks up and says,
“Meow.”
A doctor had just finished a marathon sex session with one of his patients. He was resting afterwards and was feeling a bit guilty because he thought it wasn’t really ethical to be fucking one of his patients.
However, a little voice in his head said, “Lots of doctors have sex with their patients, so it’s not like you’re the first…”
This made the doctor feel a bit better until still another voice in his head said, “But then again, they probably weren’t veterinarians…”
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