A juggler dies and goes to hell, and is being led to the pit of despair by the devil. In the hall they pass a door to a theatre, and when the juggler looks inside, he sees a magician performing magic to a crowd of beautiful women.
The juggler says to the devil “Hey what gives, why does the magician get to perform for gorgeous girls while I have to go get tortured??”
The devil replies “who are you to decide the fate of those women?”
Jim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his golf shoes.
His wife was standing there watching him. After a period of silence she finally spoke. “Honey, I’ve been thinking – now that we
are married I think maybe it’s time you gave up golf so we can spend the weekends together. Maybe you should sell your golf clubs.”
Tim got this horrified look on his face.
She said, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
”Well…for a minute there you were sounding like my ex-wife.”
“Ex wife!” she screamed, “I didn’t know you were married before!”