Tag: joke (Page 18 of 23)
I am an idiot.
Dr. Marc Faber, the investment guru, concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008) with the following comments.
Dr. Marc Faber tells it how it is:
“The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer, it will go to India. If we purchase fruits and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car, it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap, it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy. The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in the US.
I’ve been doing my part…..”
‘Hello, is this the Police Office?’
‘Yes. What can I do for you?’
‘I’m calling to report ’bout my neighbor Jack Murphy…He’s hidin’ Marijuana inside his firewood! Don’t quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he’s hidin’ it there..’
‘Thank you very much for the call, sir.’
The next day, twelve St. Johns Police Officers descend on Jack’s house. They searched the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they burst open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Jack and leave.
Shortly, the phone rings at Jack’s house. ‘Hey, Jack! This here’s Floyd….Did the Police come?’
‘Yeah!’
‘Did they chop your firewood?’
‘Yep!’
‘Happy Birthday, buddy!’
Moral of the story: Newfies know how to get’er done!
