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“My closet or yours?”

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, he sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, ‘Dark in here.’
The man says, ‘Yes, it is.’
Boy: ‘I have a baseball.’
Man: ‘That’s nice’
Boy: ‘Want to buy it?’
Man: ‘No, thanks.’
Boy: ‘My Dad’s outside.’
Man: ‘OK, how much?’
Boy: ‘$250’

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy: ‘Dark in here.’
Man: ‘Yes, it is.’
Boy: ‘I have a baseball glove.’
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, ‘How much?’
Boy: ‘$750’
Man: ‘Sold.’

A few days later, the Dad says to the boy , ‘Grab your glove, let ‘s go outside and have a game of catch.’ The boy says, ‘I can’t , I sold my baseball and my glove.’

The Dad asks, ‘How much did you sell them for?’
Boy: ‘$1,000’

The Dad says, ‘That’s terrible to over charge your friends like that…that is way more than those two things cost. I’m taking you to church, to confession.’

They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and closes the door.

The boy says, ‘Dark in here.’
The priest says, ‘Don’t start that shit again; you’re in my closet now.’

How I Met Your Mother Joke

Last night on How I Met Your Mother, Barney told a ‘dirty’ joke that had Lily not see them for 4 weeks. Here is the joke:

What is the difference between peanut butter and jam?

I can’t peanut butter my dick up your ass.

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-04-12

  • @ThatKevinSmith Wow, you have double the bids and price of all the other actors. If you were doing it in Toronto, I’d bid. Congrats. in reply to ThatKevinSmith #
  • Explain why you need to have an automatic paper towel dispenser? How lazy and wasteful can you get? #
  • @johntobin LOL. You are a nut. Not an almond or something good. More like a Brazilnut. in reply to johntobin #
  • At this cool place that has books you can take FOR FREE, and DVDs and CDs. They also have free interweb access. Its called a Library. #

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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-04-05

  • My wife met Andrea Bargnani of the #Raptors yesterday and he was really nice. #
  • Great. My son was up at 1 and back asleep in 10 min (after quick dipe change -NOTE I hate Huggies. They leak overnight). I am still up at 2. #
  • @johntobin should mention the co. to either shame into fixing or to allow them to follow up with you. We have a social media group to help #
  • In a lingerie store with my wife. I have nothing more to say. #
  • Wet rainy day in #Toronto and I can’t wait to get home to my wife and son for a relaxing weekend. #

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Inherited

Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left his entire
estate in trust for his beloved widow?

She can’t touch it till she’s fourteen.

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