The medical examiner’s report has come in and it seems he didn’t overdose at all. It seems he died because he choked on twelve year old sausage.
(thanks Linnea!)
Page 36 of 79
- I can't say enough about how brilliant @timminchin is. Have to watch all his stuff and give him $. "if you love me" http://bit.ly/cBC7Hv #
- I think Upsy Daisy isn't wearing underwear in this episode. #needkidstogetthisreference #
- Great video "Dad Life" http://youtu.be/DOKuSQIJlog Sent to me by @Richardsonian Any fathers out there have to watch this. #
- Great Big Sea! Yoo hoo! $25 for parking. Boo hoo. (@ The Molson Amphitheatre w/ 13 others) http://4sq.com/bToCUQ #
- Great nite with @joetek @johntobin @greatbigsean and our spouses at the #GBS concert. Good friends=good times #
Powered by Twitter Tools
- Baseball in the rain. I must be nuts. But happy to be able to play. (@ Riverdale Park) http://4sq.com/cQwVKO #
- WTF? Who would do this? Obviously it was done enough to warrant a sign. http://yfrog.com/mj40mnj #
- I need sleep but keep getting pulled into reading tweets via @flipbook. Damn you clean, beautiful interface on iPad! #
- I've been planning on writing a book on procrastination but just haven't got around to it. #
- You have to be really lazy to not finish a twe #
- My son is really enjoying the Toy Story movies now. He runs around with his arms spread saying " to infinity & beyond". #Disney #somuchfun #
- "A little polish and a little paint will turn something dr what it is to what it ain't" #grandmothersayings #
Powered by Twitter Tools
Paddy is planning to marry, he is. He asks his family doctor how he could tell if his bride-to-be is still a virgin. His doctor says, “Aye, Paddy, all Irish use three things for what we call a Do-It-Yourself Virginity Test Kit: a small can of red paint, a small can of blue paint and a shovel.” Paddy asks, “Aye, and what do I do with these things, doctor?”
The doctor replies, “Before ye climb into bed on your wedding night, you paint one of your balls red and the other ball blue. If she says, “That’s the strangest pair of balls I ever did see . . .”, you hit her with the shovel.’
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
Every time they made love, the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
She figures she would break him of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device…
A vibrator!
Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. ‘You impotent bastard,’ She screamed at him, ‘How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!’
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
‘I’ll explain the toy. . You explain the kids.’
A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween Party. He doesn’t know what costume to wear to hide his head and his Leg, So he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.
A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:
Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a pirate’s outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.
Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.
____________________________________________________________________________________
The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his Wooden Leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he Receives another parcel and a note, which says: ________________________________________________________________________
Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a monk’s costume. The long robe will cover your Wooden leg and, with your bald head, you should really look the part.
Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co. _________________________________________________________________________
Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his Wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head, so again he writes the Company another nasty letter of complaint. The next day he gets a small Parcel and a note, which reads:
__________________________________________________________________________ Dear Sir, We have TRIED our very BEST. Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts. Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick your Wooden Leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple.
Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.
5,000 men were asked to complete a survey on what they liked best about ‘Oral Sex’
A. 3% liked the warmth.
B. 4% enjoyed the sensation.
*C. 93% appreciated the silence.*
- @brundle_fly in the future let me know when you want to go to Jays game. I get tix at 50% off. (I work for Rogers) in reply to brundle_fly #
- @brundle_fly sorry. Had a bad twitter week. Feel like a junky missing my twitfix in reply to brundle_fly #
- Saw a really cool ad and was going to retweet it but remembered @johntobin & his complaint that all I do is retweet. Sorry. Blame him #
- RT @paulandstorm: [P] (edit) I thought this was a 4chan Photoshop until I saw it on the Warner Bros. site. #AdFAIL http://bit.ly/9nLF2g #
- 5k men were asked to complete a survey on what they liked best about oral sex:
3% the warmth; 4% the sensation; 93% appreciated the silence # - @Richardsonian was going to make a comment about 'isn't that what wives are for' but thought I should just say 'where's the Nutella?' in reply to Richardsonian #
Powered by Twitter Tools
- @brundle_fly in the future let me know when you want to go to Jays game. I get tix at 50% off. (I work for Rogers) in reply to brundle_fly #
- @brundle_fly sorry. Had a bad twitter week. Feel like a junky missing my twitfix in reply to brundle_fly #
- Saw a really cool ad and was going to retweet it but remembered @johntobin & his complaint that all I do is retweet. Sorry. Blame him #
- RT @paulandstorm: [P] (edit) I thought this was a 4chan Photoshop until I saw it on the Warner Bros. site. #AdFAIL http://bit.ly/9nLF2g #
- 5k men were asked to complete a survey on what they liked best about oral sex:
3% the warmth; 4% the sensation; 93% appreciated the silence # - @Richardsonian was going to make a comment about 'isn't that what wives are for' but thought I should just say 'where's the Nutella?' in reply to Richardsonian #
Powered by Twitter Tools
A selection of some very funny cartoons sent by the ever prolific Dan!
.
