Jan
31
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-31
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- So I have voice activated dialing, when can I get voice activated tweeting? #
- Getting very frustrated with #Sony. I bought my wife their eReader and it does not work on my computer. Called tech support & nada. #
- @Danny_DeVito f in reply to Danny_DeVito #
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Jan
24
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-24
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- RT @brundle_fly: Wall Street Toon. http://bit.ly/6B8bBz – Classic and very true #
- Amazed how some places stay in business. Lousy cust. service at TPH. Could care less that I wanted to spend $ there so I walked away. #
- RT @strombo: Friday 7 PM: Canada for Haiti: CBC, CTV, Global, Much, MTV, Nat.Geo @strombo, Ben Mulroney, @CherylHickeyETC hosts- Watch&give! #
- RT @johntobin: Love it: http://www.wordlab.com/images/terrorsesamealerts.jpg #
- When @johntobin tweets, everybody follows. #obscureadreference (hint: EF Hutton) #
- RT @brundle_fly: This is GREAT RT @JakenBear: http://twitpic.com/z8s7c – Weekend at Bernie's: TTC BOOTH. #TTCSleeper #
- Taylor Swift answered a #Haiti telethon phone & said "Thank y-…" so I said "I'mgonnastopyourightthere Taylor, Beyonce had the best call.." #
- RT @badbanana: According to the commercials, Windows 7 is for delusional morons. #
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Jan
20
Hollywood Squares
Filed Under Jokes, Quotes | Leave a Comment
These great questions and answers are from the days when ‘ Hollywood Squares’ game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..
Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde (Several minutes later): Loneliness!
And the audience laughed for another 10 to 15 minutes.
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q.You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he’s married?
A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say ‘I Love You’?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..
Q. What are ‘Do It,’ ‘I Can Help,’ and ‘I Can’t Get Enough’?
A. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more ‘growing old question’ Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q.When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car, the rest is up to him
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.
Jan
17
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Jan
17
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-17
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- Weird: I get updates from some people on my Twitter account & on my BB, but not using PeopleBrowsr. Although Twitter Web interface is nice. #
- RT @BrianLynch: You can text "HAITI" to 90999 to donate $10 to @RedCross relief efforts in #Haiti. #
- Dear networks: Stop giving Suzanne Somers airtime for her insanity. People need facts not fairy dust and false hope. Cancer is deadly. #
- Help those in Haiti by donating to Partners In Health: text “HELP” to 1291 & Rogers/Fido customers can donate $5.00 CDN to relief efforts. #
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Jan
10
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-10
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- Great info on the silliness that is the TSA in the US. They are not being very transparent. http://www.goofingaround.ca/253 #
- Hating the #ttc in 2010: Union freaking station doesn't have booths open to buy AND are out of frakking TOKENS! Did they not expect a rush? #
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Jan
3
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-03
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- RT @JPBarlow (and others) "TSA – Protecting you from yesterday, tomorrow." #tsaslogans #
- RT @wilw: Only a matter of time b4 the TSA decides that passengers simply will not be permitted to board airplanes. You know, for safety. #
- Someone either needs to get Dora the Explorer a shirt trhat covers her belly OR get her a belly button ring. Just saying. #
- Spent 1999 at the ACC watching Tragically Hip. Spending 2009 in Sick Kids with my wife & son. Just want his fever down & it will be a HNY. #
- Happy New Decade everyone. May it find you safe and sound, healthy and happy. From my family to yours, all the best. #
- RT @wilw: RT @ambersalis: 01.02.2010 = Happy Palindrome Day! Surprised that @joetek or @johntobin didn't tweet this first. #
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Jan
1
The Hangover
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Jan
1
Up in the Air
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Jan
1
Have you heard about the Morgans
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