Jun
30
Zack and Miri make a porno
Filed Under 2009, DVD's, Year in Review | Leave a Comment
Rating: 
Jun
30
Three Drunk Mice
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Three drunk mice were sitting in a bar talking about how tough they were.
The first mouse knocked back a shot of whisky and said: “I play with mouse traps for fun. I run into one on purpose, and as it is closing on me, I reach up, grab the bar, and use it to flex my muscles twenty or thirty times.”And with that he swallows another drink.
The second mouse downs a whiskey and says: “That’s nothing. I take rat poison, grind it into powder, and snort it just for the fun of it.” And with that he takes another shot.
The third mouse knocks back his Scotch, gets up and walks away.
The first two mice look at each other, and then turn to the third. “Where are you going?” they ask.
The third mouse calls out over his shoulder: “I’m going home to fuck the cat.”
Jun
30
Amazing video
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This is truly wonderful to see. Looks like it is a model, but it is actually real life.
People with real talent amaze me.
Jun
29
Stunning photos from space of volcano eruption
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The UK Mail has some fantastic photos of the Sarychev Peak volcano eruption.
Jun
29
The cure
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After about four minutes in the examination room with a new, younger doctor, Mrs Reid burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in a room.
The older doctor marched down the hallway to where the young doctor was writing on his clipboard.
“What’s the matter with you?” the older doctor demanded. “Mrs. Reid is 62 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren -and you told her she was pregnant?”
The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said, “Does she still have the hiccups?”
Jun
28
Paul Blart – Mall Cop
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Rating:
Jun
28
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-06-28
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- Georgie Porgy pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay. # - Happy Pride week Toronto! #
- Just was attacked by a red winged black bird.WTF? Walking down Queens Quay on my way to work & it comes from behind & claws & pecks my head! #
- For all you graduates out there: insert your own schools here: #joke http://www.goofingaround.ca/yj5 #
- No, no, no! Men: black sports socks with dress shoes AND SHORTS is not allowed. You look like idiots. #
- (sung to "BAD") "You know I'm dead, I'm dead, you know it…." RIP Michael Jackson #
- @johntobin Must sux to be you. Lost D. Eddings, Gemmell and now Michael Jackson. #
- OMG! Does anyone know the whereabouts of El Debarge? Is he dead too? #
- RT @joshacagan More bad news for the Jacksons…At 11:58am PST, LaToya Jackson was tragically declared "Still Alive." #
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Jun
28
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-06-28
Filed Under Lee Tweets | Leave a Comment
- Georgie Porgy pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay. # - Happy Pride week Toronto! #
- Just was attacked by a red winged black bird.WTF? Walking down Queens Quay on my way to work & it comes from behind & claws & pecks my head! #
- For all you graduates out there: insert your own schools here: #joke http://www.goofingaround.ca/yj5 #
- No, no, no! Men: black sports socks with dress shoes AND SHORTS is not allowed. You look like idiots. #
- (sung to "BAD") "You know I'm dead, I'm dead, you know it…." RIP Michael Jackson #
- @johntobin Must sux to be you. Lost D. Eddings, Gemmell and now Michael Jackson. #
- OMG! Does anyone know the whereabouts of El Debarge? Is he dead too? #
- RT @joshacagan More bad news for the Jacksons…At 11:58am PST, LaToya Jackson was tragically declared "Still Alive." #
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Jun
28
Guide Dog
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A visitor to San Francisco is standing on a street corner waiting for a bus when he notices a blind man and his guide dog. The dog leads the man into the street, where he is brushed by an oncoming car. The man is knocked down, and he rather gingerly gets back up. He calls the guide dog over, reaches into his pocket, pulls out a canine treat, and gives it to the dog.
The visitor, upon seeing all this, walks over to the blind man and says, “That’s amazing! Your guide dog led you into a busy street where you were nearly run over by a car, and yet you’re giving the dog a treat. You must really love that dog.”
The blind man turns to the visitor and says, “No, I’m gonna kick that dogs ass–I’m just trying to find out which end is which.”
Jun
28
A GIRL’S PRAYER
Lord,
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who’s not a creep.
One who’s handsome, smart and strong,
One whose willy’s thick and long.
One who thinks before he speaks,
When promises to call, he won’t wait weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair, and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh, send me a man who will make love to my mind,
Knows just what to say, when I ask, “How big’s my behind?”
One who’ll make love ’til my body’s a-twitching,
In the hall, the loo, the garden and kitchen!
I pray that this man will love me no end,
And never attempts to shag my best friend.
And as I kneel and pray by my bed,
I look at the wanker you sent me instead.
Amen.
A BOY’S PRAYER
Lord,
I pray for a lady with big tits.
Amen.